First Post

Today is my first foray into the eating blog. I've tried a bajillion "fitness" and "diet" websites, journals, and the like, but nothing seems to stick. Recent forays into pro-ana/pro-skinny sites have seemed way promising though--a community of like-minded, motivated individuals who want to help each other and themselves.

So I guess, an intro? I've always been a tall and skinny type--until late puberty when things started topping off...I've always had a weird relationship with food, too. Cleaning one's plate is the norm in my family, and growing up frugal and lower-middle-class has kind of installed that "get as much as you can while it's here" attitude. So naturally, Sizzler, Fresh Choice, and any Chinese buffet restaurant prove dangerous.... My stomach is bad at telling me when it's full, so I'll eat, and eat, and eat until bloated and physically uncomfortable.

I remember sitting alone in my dorm freshman year (I've recently graduated) of college, after buying this huuuge Mexican food take-out thing, and just gorging myself on it, and then a bag of carrots, et cetera. I have snuck food from many friend and family refrigerators. I can't let anyone throw food away and if possible will volunteer to eat it/take the food home.

My mind and psyche is so intertwined with my eating habits that I'm scared that it will be a lifelong struggle. I am hoping to break the awful cycles of hate and self-criticism I encounter every time I binge and feel fat. I hope this blog helps me, and maybe helps someone else too.

xxxooo